Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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