If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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