You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
