you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
