dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize