I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
