I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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