Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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