I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
