we have officially lost it.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
