It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize