I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
