why do cheetos always look like penises
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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