I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
