I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
