Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
