she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
