Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
