He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dicks are not precious.
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