wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
