I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
