my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
