we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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