She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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