All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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