scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
