After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
