Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
