My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
