I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
