But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
