Who did Billy Mays play for?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize