I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
