Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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