How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
