He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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