He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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