Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
