she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
