id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
