idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
