she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
is it fun? or sober?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize