i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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