you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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