508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
