yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
