I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
