and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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