Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
