He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
