what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
