is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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