Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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