i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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