doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
