4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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