he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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