You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
