I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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