FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
